Karma Makes Me Paranoid

While working with the clients enrolled in the Q&A family of programs, we are blessed to encounter some incredible young adults about to embark on their lives.  Each client truly does become a member of our extended family, making it bittersweet when they are ready to leave us behind and become leaders of the next generation.

One of our recent graduates spent almost two years with us and in that time, he inadvertently spewed some incredibly sage advice and observations.  My favorite is the title of this blog:  Karma makes me paranoid.  He said this once during his stay with us, but it became our mantra!  It also became a t-shirt that we gave him for his birthday.  What an amazing statement!  While our clients are with us, we work hard to help them understand empathy and how important it really is to listen . . . actively listen.  It's a simple act, but it is so difficult for most of us!  We all listen with filters; we can't help that!  The filters are based on our experiences and our individual belief systems.  However, if we can include empathy in our listening, we can not only hear the story being told, but we can truly be open to the other person's experiences and beliefs.  And you know what, that can help us become better people.

In the world of therapeutic programs, karma is often thrown into discussions and program models.  I think that sometimes it is overused, which causes it to lose it's mysticism and by default, its effectiveness.  The definition of karma in Hinduism and Buddhism is the sum of a person's actions in this and previous states of existence.  It is also considered a person's destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.  What does all that mean?  It's really simple:  You get what you give.  When I was younger, I don't think I really understood this concept.  As is the case with most young adults, I was focused on my more immediate needs . . . instant gratification.  I couldn't wait for all those important milestones in life - turning 16 and driving, registering to vote, being legal to drink, going to college, getting married, having children . . . and on and on.  However, I had to gain some years of living and experience to truly understand that what I give is what I get.  And in my mind, that is Karma.  

Looking back, it is easy to see (hindsight being 20/20 and all) that every time in my life when I have put others' needs before my own and focused on the positive, I have gotten exactly what I wanted and needed, no less and no more.  During the times of being selfish and struggling to force my life to be what I wanted it to be, I never got what I wanted.  However, I did get what I needed!  Believe me, in those moments, I didn't know I got what I needed and I certainly spent a lot of time being angry and resentful!  However, each time, my attitude was shifted by something greater than me, and each time, I ended up with exactly what I needed in that moment.  

As is the case with most life lessons, I can trace this one back to my very wise grandmother Arg . . . .Treat others the way you want to be treated.  If we live by this rule, we will not have to wonder how our actions are going to effect us. Karma will not make us paranoid!